


in every universe, every timeline, i have loved you

by madandimpossible



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, Time Travel, Widojest - Freeform, i love them your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25579417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madandimpossible/pseuds/madandimpossible
Summary: The Traveler gives Jester a spell that enables her to visit the different timelines inside the Dodecahedron. She stumbles upon a timeline in which Caleb is about to kiss her.Her curiosity piqued - Jester keeps returning to the timeline to discover more about this possibility. After all, why would Caleb want to kiss her??
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 31
Kudos: 180





	in every universe, every timeline, i have loved you

Jester already knew what she’d use the spell for.

A moment suspended in air and then – like a flame being snuffed out – she was sitting in her childhood bedroom with her dad.

She held onto his horns as he carried her on his shoulders.

She beamed at her smiling mother. Marion looked healthy, happy, and radiant as ever.

It was all gone with the next blink.

Jester leaned back against her pillows, the Dodecahedron pinched between her fingers, and she smiled at the strange shape as the after-effects of the timeline ebbed away. She _knew_ that her family would be happy if they were together. The three – well, _four_ of them – with the Traveler.

She stood among the threads of Fate and picked the next one.

It was nearly sunset, the sky painted gold and orange, their cart rumbling across the dirt road. Molly was _there_. His long legs spread out, his colorful coat, his deck of cards flipping through his deft fingers. Caleb sat beside him and his nose was tucked away inside one of his spell books. Nott was sitting on Caleb’s lap, talking animatedly with Beau.

Jester glanced to the helm of the cart and was met with the pink haired Firbolg wearing a straw hat sitting beside Fjord. A timeline where Molly _lived_. Jester clasped her fingers in front of her, “Molly! Are you going to read my cards?! Are you? It’s been so long since you’ve read them!”

Mollymauk smirked, his head tilting and the jewelry on his horns winking in the dying sunlight, “Alright, Jester.”

The spell wasn’t going to last very long. Jester decided to pick the next one at random. A hundred-thousand Jester’s to choose from. It wasn’t like she cold go wrong with her choice.

The inn was noisy with patrons laughing and shouting. Her friends are clustered together at a table (causing _most_ of the noise in this inn) and she hovered by the stairs – ready to walk forward but, someone stopped her with a firm, but gentle grip to her elbow.

Jester froze for the mere void-between-a-second as Caleb brought his roughened palm to her cheek and leaned in as if to kiss her.

She blipped out of the timestream. The Traveler warned her that although she could come and go as she pleased, it would never be for very long and she could never return to the exact moment twice. Not that it mattered.

Because – how hard could it be to discover the context of an almost kiss?

Her fingers pulled through the gilded threads of Fate and Time. The silvery wisps a touch cold to her skin. With a renewed curiosity and vigor, she held her breath before she plunged in.

Caleb is holding her hand. She watched as his brow smooths and his lips upturn into a smile that is filled with so much _adoration_ that Jester’s heart skips a beat. She felt a whisper of silk against the back of her palm and she tore her eyes away from a smiling, sharp-dressed Caleb to see their friends and her Mama surrounding them. They’re in a beautiful grove dotted with white daises, and purple irises, and rosy tulips and long, dripping tendrils of willow trees.

Caleb’s voice, a little choked by emotion, his accent heavy in the fragrant, spring air – “I love you, Jester.”

A rose bloomed inside her chest. The petals of her heart unfolding and accepting his light. The sudden, overwhelming feeling that embraces her is almost too much as the words; “I love you, Caleb," fell from her lips.

Jester gasped as she’s thrust free from the timeline. A memory that was not a memory, yet. A potential life. A possibility hovering alongside a thousand other possibilities. She pulled the thread back, looped it around her thumb, and exerts her will. The magic crackled around her body. Somewhere, distantly, she thought she could hear the low, amused chuckle of the Traveler.

When she slides behind the curtains of Fate - she is both herself and not-herself. She is always _Jester_. At the convergence, she feels and thinks the way the Jester-of-This-Timeline would. Then, after a second or two passes, she is the Traveling Jester, of this world but not. No more than an observant guest.

Jester rolled to her other side, the bed cramped but warm and there’s a low, purring vibration near her feet. She blinked her eyes open and Caleb is there. His face inches from her own. He is clean-shaven with red hair disheveled, the golden morning light cutting pale reliefs across his jaw and chin. Her lips part in surprise. She wanted to tell him to wake up. She wanted to ask why he’s here. But then the answer seems obvious as she feels the slight pressure of his knee pressed against hers beneath the quilted cover.

The kiss she almost felt was not a one-off scenario. Nor was it some teasing, playful game. This moment in the quiet, early dawn was heavy with anticipation and weighted by longing. Caleb muttered Zemnian in his sleep.

And then she’s alone with the timelines again. Jester rubbed her eyes as exhaustion nipped at the back of her skull. She wasn’t going to be able to keep using the spell…but her curiosity still wasn’t satisfied. She wanted to keep peeking into that timeline and discover how Caleb – their kind, sad Caleb – how was it that he could smile so easily around her? How could he say he loved her when she knew he still loved Astrid? Did Astrid not exist? Jester tucked the Dodecahedron away.

The next morning, during breakfast, Jester noticed that Caleb keeps glancing at her.

“What?” She peered at him, “Do I have something on my face?” Suddenly self-conscious, she viciously rubbed her mouth with her sleeve.

“No, no, it’s just—” Caleb’s hands fidgeted in his lap, “I was just wondering if you had slept at all.”

Jester gave him her brightest and best smile – “Of course I did, silly! I’ve got to be in top form if I’m going to keep everyone here safe. I _miiiight_ have stayed up extra late ‘cause of this new spell the Traveler is showing me but like – I got all my beauty sleep, Caleb, don’t you worry!” She leaned across the table, knocking over an empty teacup in the process, to pat him on the head.

“Ja.” Caleb turned his face away as Jester sat back down, “Okay.”

It’s days before Jester can try again. She’s giddy with excitement and unable to determine the cause. She stood once more among the endless Jester’s and drifting threads of Fate. She hummed under her breath and discovered that the timeline she’s looking for burns brighter than the rest. She held it between her fingers and in the next breath she’s—

“Ah.” Caleb gave her a slow, secret smile, “There you are.” The trees are in full bloom of orange and red, but the air is still warm with the last, lingering touches of summer.

Jester pulled a root vegetable from the soil and she dropped it into the basket beside her. She wiped the dirt from her palms onto her skirt as she stands. Nearby, she can hear the deep hum of Caduceus as he works. It feels like the pull of gravity as she steps forward, toward him, with an effortless smile on her face. It feels like the most natural thing in the world to be close to him, to pull herself into his arms, to cup his jaw in her hand, to kiss the cute dimple on his chin.

Yet, she halts as she notices the expression his face. Half in love, half in awe, and a touch of…something else.

“What’s wrong, Caleb?” She lifted her knuckle to her cheek, “Do I have dirt on my face or something?”

“Nein. No. Liebling.” His expression softens, but Jester can still see a sliver of doubt peeking through his blue eyes. “You are beautiful, as always.”

Her heart does a funny dance inside her chest.

Jester blips into the timeline and her feet are moving. Her muscle memory clicks in and she swiftly glides her foot back, leading the dance, her skirt billowing out as she twirls. She spins back to her partner. It’s Caleb. They’re _dancing_. And it’s not Hupperdook. There’s a crown of flowers on his head and a smaller chain around his neck. She watches with fascination as his throat bobs nervously, his hand on her lower back, and Jester cannot help but grin at him. _Caleb_ is dancing with her!

His jaw tenses and she only catches it because they are moving through this dance together. Distantly, she’s aware of someone cheering.

“I have missed you.” He admits, words soft on the summer breeze.

Jester giggles, “How? I’m right here.”

He tilts his head. The dancing lights above them reflect in his eyes. She _knows_ that look. She’s seen it on his face half a hundred – maybe even a thousand times – every time he’s sat down with artifacts in his lap. A puzzle to be solved.

“Maybe so.” Is all she hears before the music fades.

X

It becomes her secret routine after that. She sneaks away into the threads of Fate and hoards each gentle touch, each adoring glance, as if they were platinum and the finest gems. Yet, with each visit she can see the question in Caleb’s eyes.

She worries that he’s discovered her. That he knows she isn’t the same Jester. She’s not quite an imposter but she’s not _really_ her, either.

But, instead of a question – he disarms her and says something kind, or funny, or sarcastic, or supportive, or well – something so _Caleb_. His lips touch the crown of her head and her heart melts.

Not every visit is perfect. Once, she slipped into one where she was crying – but didn’t know _why_. She clutched Caleb around the waist and buried her face into his chest. She left that timestream quickly. In another time – he is trying to leave the group due the danger it’ll put everyone in and they’re fighting over it. She calls him dumb and refuses to let his hand go. 

X

Sunlight warms her face. She could sleep forever in this field. Caleb’s thigh is solid and sure beneath her cheek. His fingertips brush along the back of her neck and occasionally pull through her hair.

“Jester?”

“Hm?” She lifts her head from his lap and blinks away the lull of sleep.

“I know what you’re doing.” He pauses, “Playing with Fate.”

A cold chill touches her spine.

“Oh.” She winces, “Well. Uh. I mean – okay – yes. But I’m only here for a _leeetle_ while! Just give it a few more seconds and—”

Caleb moves his hand in a deliberate movement, arcane mumblings slipping past his lips, and everything slows. Jester looks around in awe as she notices it - the grass and tree branches overhead and even the wings of bugs flying past them. It all slows. The timeline suspended. Her heart races inside her chest, immune to the magic that Caleb’s woven his fingers through.

“How long are you going to keep crashing into this timeline?” He asks.

“Not-I wasn’t-I mean…” She picks up a blade of grass between her fingers and peeks up at Caleb. His expression is quiet and open. She always appreciated that about him. They could be vulnerable together. She wasn’t afraid to be honest with him…even if she thought sounded stupid. And Caleb didn’t always have advice to give, but she didn’t always _need_ advice. Sometimes, she just needed someone to listen. Someone who wasn’t the Traveler or her Mama.

“At first, I was just curious…and then I got _more_ curious…” She watched his lips upturn into a fleeting smile, “And I wanted to know what it felt like…” Jester trailed off and met his eyes. Her Caleb but _not_ her Caleb.

“You are very sweet, Caleb.” Jester’s voice dropped to a whisper, because she knew the words at the tip of her tongue were a foolish dream, but she said them anyway. “It was just nice to live in a world where you could…where you loved me.”

“Oh, Jester.” Caleb grabbed her face and held it between his hands with reverence and such gentleness that Jester’s heart broke. She did not want to say farewell to this Caleb. This Caleb with his rough morning, sleepy voice. This Caleb who smiled and danced with her. This Caleb who let her hold him as he wept. This Caleb who laid among wildflowers and larkspurs and cradled her face as if she was precious.

“Jester.” He said once more with longing in his voice, “There is no other timeline for me. In each one, I have loved you.”

Jester blinked, “Wh-what?” She feared this moment might break and return her to her timeline without answers.

“In every thread of Fate that breaks from our meeting- I have loved you.” His smile was touched with melancholy, “Sometimes uselessly, I’m afraid.”

She reached a hand up to touch the ends of her hair, twisting it between her fingers, as she replied in a voice oh-so-quiet, “Even…now? In my timeline?”

Caleb chuckled and leaned close; he touched his forehead to hers.

“Yes.” His voice was a whisper touched by starlight as Jester stood among the webs of Fate and Time once more. Jester closed her eyes and put the Dodecahedron away. Her body ached as she stood up and stretched.

She had wasted enough time inside the sea of possibility and chance.

Her knuckles met the wooden paneling of Caleb’s door.

It peaked open, “Ja? Oh! Jester, is everything alright?”

“Yes!” She bounced her heels, “I was just wondering if you’d like to take a walk with me!”

“Uhh.” He glanced around, “Now?”

Jester nodded. An uncomfortable feeling of doubt coiled in her stomach. What if the Caleb she spoke to was wrong? What if he didn’t like her?

“Ja, okay. Let me get my coat.”

The doubt dissolved.

And she looped her arm with his as they walked down the lamplit streets with a sky full of stars overhead.

X

Jester bounded down the stairs. The inn is crowded, the smell of sour ale and roasted meat and herbal smoke heavy in the air. Her friends are clustered together at a table, talking among themselves, and she hovered by the stairs – ready to walk forward but, a firm, but gentle grip to her elbow stopped her.

Jester spun, hands catching herself on the lapels of Caleb’s coat, “You almost scared me!” She teased, “That’s not very nice, Caleb, sneaking up on people! Especially people like _me_! You could’ve gotten smacked with a giant lollipop if you weren’t careful.”

“It’s a good thing I was careful then, Ja?” Caleb said with a smile teasing the corners of his lips. He brought a hand to her cheek, this thumb caressing her cheekbone. Jester leaned into his touch, her chin tilting up as he leaned down. The ghost of his stubble tickled her face as he pressed his lips to hers and she smiled against his mouth.

“Oh God!” Beau yelled from their table, “You guys HAVE A ROOM! You literally **PAID** for a room!”

“Leave him alone!” Veth interjected, “We don’t yell about you and Yasha!”

Beau sputtered, “Ye-yes you do!”

Caleb was the first to pull away with his cheeks bright pink. Jester laughed at the sight of it (Caleb was really, _really_ adorable, in her opinion). She went on her tiptoes to kiss his flushed cheek. Her hands slid from his chest and grabbed one of his hands, interlacing their fingers, “C’mon.”

They joined the rest of the Mighty Nien hand-in-hand.

And somewhere inside the spiderwebs of Fate, two threads united and intertwined and wove together.

The thread as strong as steel and as vibrant as sunlight.

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me and then I wrote it at like 1am on a NOTEBOOK like on paper and then sat down and typed it all out and like.....sorry if there are errors. The original prompt was: "Jester is given a spell (maybe it interacts with the dodeca) and she’s able to see every single timeline and so she kinda hops and peers into different timelines and “Be” that Jester for a moment. It’s very brief. She’s jumping around, seeing her childhood different, etc - then she starts jumping through the M9 timeline and there’s on where Molly meets Cad, etc. Anyway, she ends up blipping into a timeline in which she’s with Caleb (maybe there’s a time travel element where she can go into future timelines too) and she’s like ???? so she keeps returning to it & seeing it"
> 
> And then the AMAZING/BRILLIANT folks at the Widojest Server mentioned that Caleb would OF COURSE know when he's dealing with his Jester vs Traveling Jester 
> 
> and truthfully, I probably could write a million words about Jester and Caleb in love but i'll save those stories for another day.


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